Oh My God, You Pillock.

Eloise's new favourite word is "Pillock." Her phrase du jour is "You Pillock" generally followed by "Neil."

She's delighting in doing things that raise eyebrows and cause guffaws of surprise and potential embarrassment.

She says "Oh My God" a lot as well, which isn't unusual in ladies of the Australian persuasion. At least she hasn't learned to use the work "like" instead of a verbal comma.

I said "do you know what a pillock is?"

She said "It's an animal which has orange fur, a tail like a snake, sharp teeth, green eyes and feet that look like hoovers. And it eats you."

So I'm going to try to teach her to use "Twonk" instead of "Pillock" and "Oh My Goodness Gracious Me" instead of "Oh My God."

If she keeps on about God she might want to know what it means, too.

Although we came perilously close to spiritual territory when we accidentally went to a Buddhist Temple on Tuesday.