Toddlers Trekking Tortuously

Another mini-heatwave rolled across on Thursday and we resolved to take a trip into the mountains (or what passes for mountains hereabouts) to escape the heat and humidity with a trip to the balmy shade of the rainforest-shaded walking tracks for a dubiously conceived scrub-walk.

Coffee being the first order of the day, we headed up the winding road to Mount Nebo - Claire, Georgia, Eloise and I - to feed the birds at Mrs Miggins' Tea Shop (not its real name) while eating ice cream. As it turned out, another ill-conceived plan as it wasn't open and was being inexplicably subjected to industrial cleaning, but not to be discouraged we headed a few hundred metres up the road to another cafe whose name I have the misfortune to fail to recall, where feeding the birds was forbidden but coffee and ice creams were not only available, but after an interminable wait for service were actually consumed.

Then to the rainforest where the shortcomings of hiking with toddlers were soon to become apparent, as Lyra would not wear her shoes and both of the 'little darlings' required motivation assistance on a regular basis, by way both of exhortation and porterage.

When you're an adult, forward progress becomes an unspoken and natural priority. For a small child, these considerations are if not completely non-existent then definitely secondary to the objective of going wherever the hell you want to, leading to literally hours of watching small people climb up and down steps, work their way underneath fences to explore paths that are closed, walk in completely the wrong direction, run in completely the wrong direction, face-plant in inaccessible locations and generally fanny-fart-arse around in what was an initially endearing but progressively more annoying way, as our increasingly less patient requests for immediate return fell on increasingly taciturn ears.

I won't say that tempers frayed but "the doghouse" was mentioned and certain unmentionable expletives were uttered. There were a few toddler tantrums but also many slightly charming mini-moments as we explored the prehistoric forest, the occasional bird-song echoing through the trees, moving from shade to sunlight and back again.

G spent a lot of time being annoyed at the lack of snakes, which seemed to be her priority, and the lack of toilets. L spent a long time trying to gain altitude, generally to carrying height, and being annoyed when this was denied her.

We covered in our many hours of what should really be called wandering rather than hiking an impressive more-than-one-kilometre of very easy terrain, a less-than-two-kilometres that left me at least physically drained and mentally burnished.

But cool... ish.